Party in the City
My law days lead me into underwriting in the City. A fabulous time I had. A contradiction to everything traditional and starched in those legal days. In the early developmental stage of a new cash rich start up American company, I found myself regularly flying from City Airport to Amsterdam, Paris or Brussels for frequent meetings (Best of all for our Christmas parties!) to the young company’s European offices.
The passion and drive of these entrepreneurial Connecticut business men for their new European venture was compelling. Their excitement to drive a business forward and connect with English directors with the competition of old school network of Lloyds was extraordinary. Another key learning area for me: how to be different, offer a new valuable option and above all be yourself. These men were smart and diligent. Successfully ignoring the ‘guffaws’ of the traditional markets who rode on the tails of the old school network.
To fit in with this new culture I was sent off to training camp together with a business tour around the States for a couple of months visiting the company’s US underwriting hubs in Boston, New Jersey, and Washington DC. The pace of work, working culture and recognition being so very different from London it was a real eye opener. I travelled in the fall when the scenery was, as you can imagine, beautiful. The richness and diversity of colours in the autumn trees a real spectacle. Overall the experience was extraordinary: lazily treading the traditional markets and enjoying the seafood, Clam Chowder, in Boston, the eateries in Georgetown (likened to New Orleans) and the views of the museums, monuments and tailored design of Washington DC from the roof top capital restaurants, awesome. I missed New York on purpose as Mike and I were to visit, for the first time, later that year for the Millennium New Year’s Eve.
My most memorable US experience was arriving at the hotel in Connecticut. My driver had picked me up at the airport in the dark and drove me for about 45 mins down unlit, winding roads to the hotel. Our office was located in the countryside, where the directors enjoyed quality escape family time away from the city — already ahead of the game measuring their team by their contribution to the success rather than hours at the desk. Back to the hotel — imagine this: a traditional weatherboarded motel (probably featured in every American horror) with.a wraparound veranda complete with hallowe’en pumpkins (all shapes and sizes), spiders webs and a rocking chair. The wind howling and the rain falling sideways. Standing alone, no one was in reception desk as I am calling “Hello! Any one there?!”. Eventually on the chime of the clock, a kind, pumpkin looking lady, on checking me in, gave the night porter (tall, dark and mysterious) my key. He picked up my luggage and showed my across the driveway and ‘yard’ to the stable block! We climbed up the stable block stairs and on opening the door we entered into a ‘dog leg’ shaped room painted in traditional dark colours, with thick rugs, dark wooden furniture and complete with picture prints of aristocratic who’s eyes seemed to follow you around the room! I thanked the porter as he left and locked the door quickly behind him, went to pull the curtains and as I did so a bolt of lightening lit up the cemetery next door! Just like a scene from a movie. And strange enough I did not sleep that night and felt pretty ropey the next morning for the big welcome to Head Office! Upon being asked “Everything ok with your hotel?’ as we all traditionally do us English was to reply “Absolutely super — thank you!”
The travelling did take its toll. To escalate things after the New York trip Mike and I took a ski-ing holiday to Lake Tahoe, California. With so much travelling I lost my sense of where I was sleeping and Mike had to stop me from sleep walking naked out of the bedroom into the public areas of the hotel! Thank goodness he was there……and more worryingly had I done it anywhere else on my own travels!?
Back in the city the team enjoyed building relationships and ‘getting to know you’ events with yearly visits to the Goodward Races, Henley Regatta, the Varsity Match, Queen’s Tennis Tournament and Belfry Golf course. With frequent lunches at the likes of The Chop House, Coq D’Argent, Kensington Roof Gardens and The Opera Terrace at Covent Garden to name a few! And for easy of commuting to the office in the morning (for the essential medicinal Berocca!) we stayed at the company’s Kensington apartment.
Very cheekily I arranged my life-long friend’s hen night at the Kensington Apartment — enjoying a wine tasting evening on arrival followed by an afternoon tea at the Dorchester and a walk around the Royal parks the following day. Thinking back now I realise how an extraordinarily sumptuous time we had that weekend!
More events included pampering Spa visits to Champneys (were I later coached for a couple of seasons), weekend golf weekends to Portugal and city shopping trips to Paris. The most enchanting Paris visit was in 1999 when the Eiffel Tower had been lit up for the millennium and right on cue, whilst we were sipping our pre-dinner gin & tonics, the tower lit up with thousands of fairy style lights. With much Ooo-ing and Ah-ing by our guests it was perfect! Earlier that day I had welcomed them on the Euro-Star train by using the intercom system with a “Ping — Pong” (yes I said the actual words)! And offered them a pleasant journey and to enjoy their complementary glass of Champagne!
I think you can see how my inner-rebel was warming up quite nicely by this stage. Working hard, having fun! Nevertheless, always aware and focused on the weight and value of my skills to bring connection (through understanding, honesty & integrity) without crossing a line. Fully knowing my limitations and values. At this time professionally I was still limited as a woman in some ways, but in others I had an advantage. The knowledge of how this played a valuable part of the business was key to my success in the business and overall. Always ensuring that each deal felt fair with all parties achieving their goal. A Win-win for my professional life.
But not so for me and my personal life. My enjoyment was coming to a natural end in this corporate world, and it was not long before I knew I needed to step away. My marriage to Mike (more about him later) and opportunities being offered to spend time in Singapore and Melbourne were in contradicting directions. The city party life, albeit fantastical for some, was forcing me to move away from my core values of health and happiness and from loved ones, and critically away from my husband. Additionally, over a couple of years, I had loaded on a couple of dress sizes. I felt slow and limited, physically and emotionally. My body, from long term injuries, was already feeling the tangle of stress and mis-alignment. I needed to create space for me, my husband and family.
My body, mind and soul for the first time said “Enough”. I had so loved my time in these professions. Had learnt so much. Experienced so much laughter and gratification from hard work with the security and direction from a team of a people who strongly defined and believed in themselves. Recognising I could no longer fulfil my role completely was really important to me,. I would be falling short of my own objectives and success and also to those in my team. In the past I had learned a strong lesson from my Dad experiences and my law firm mentors to prioritise Health & Happiness.
I knew to exit, by elegantly refusing the offers. Choosing life’s opportunities and direction, on my terms, for myself, for me to be happy so that those important loved ones around me benefitted too. Oh and so did my team.
By Karen Turrell, Founder of Simply Stride
Information on More Me material at Simply Stride: https://www.simplystride.co.uk/
